the STRUGGLE Page 6

  Samuel fumed all the way to Bonnie’s. Just who does Hannah think she is, sending Esther home when she should have been taking care of the kinner and sharing supper with us? Hannah has a lot of nerve coming into my house and trying to take things over! Samuel wondered how his brother put up with a wife like that. Of course, Hannah, being the youngest child and only girl in her family, had always been a bit spoiled. Even back when she was a girl growing up in their community, he’d noticed it. And it didn’t help that she was under her mother’s thumb, which he knew was why she’d been opposed to the idea of moving to Kentucky in the first place.

  I wonder what made Timothy decide to marry Hannah, Samuel thought as he gripped the horse’s reins a bit tighter. It must have been her pretty face and the fact that she could cook fairly well, because Timothy was sure blinded to the reality that Hannah’s tied to her mamm’s apron strings.

  Samuel drew in a couple of deep breaths, knowing he needed to calm down before he spoke to Esther. He sent up a quick prayer, asking God for wisdom.

  By the time he pulled up to the hitching rail in Bonnie’s yard, he felt a bit more relaxed. He climbed down from the buggy, secured his horse, and sprinted across the lawn to the guesthouse, where he rapped on the door and called, “Esther, are you there?”

  No response.

  He knocked again, but when Esther didn’t answer, he figured she might be up at the main house with Bonnie.

  Hurrying across the lawn, he took the steps two at a time and knocked on Bonnie’s door. Several seconds went by before Bonnie answered the door. “I came to see Esther. Is she here?” Samuel asked.

  Bonnie nodded. “We were about to have supper.”

  “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I need to talk to Esther for a few minutes, if you don’t mind.”

  Bonnie smiled. “Come in. I’ll wait in the living room while you two visit.”

  “Thanks, I appreciate that.”

  Bonnie turned toward the living room, and Samuel headed for the kitchen.

  “Samuel, I’m surprised to see you here. I figured you’d be at home having supper with your family,” Esther said when Samuel stepped into the room.

  He frowned. “I figured that’s where you’d be, too, but when Timothy and I got home, Hannah said you’d come here.”

  Esther nodded. “I think my being there made her feel uncomfortable. I sensed a bit of tension between us all day.”

  Samuel pulled out a chair and joined her at the table. “When I go back home, I plan to tell Hannah in no uncertain terms that I want you to keep watching the kinner, and that includes bein’ there for supper.”

  “But Samuel, if it’s going to cause trouble with Hannah, maybe it might be best if—”

  Samuel shook his head. “It won’t be best for the kinner, and it sure won’t be best for me.” He reached for Esther’s hand. “I know it won’t be easy for you to deal with Hannah, but I’m asking you to keep working for me and to try and get along with Hannah.” He smiled and gently squeezed her fingers. “I’d set a date to marry you right now so you could be with us all the time, but I think we’d better wait till Timothy and Hannah find a place of their own. We have to keep reminding ourselves that these arrangements are only temporary.”

  Esther’s eyes sparkled with unshed tears. “Oh Samuel, let’s pray it won’t be too long.”

  Timothy stepped outside after the evening meal was finished, while Hannah cleaned up and occupied the children. It felt good to breathe in the fresh air, especially when things had gone downhill after arriving home. He didn’t blame Samuel for being upset with Hannah, and he hoped it didn’t put a further strain on their living arrangements until they had a place of their own.

  Timothy thought about Hannah’s desire to sell antiques. He had to admit her eyes had been shining when she’d shared her thoughts with him about it. It was the first time since they’d arrived in Kentucky that Hannah had showed any kind of enthusiasm.

  Was I wrong to discourage her? he wondered. Maybe something like that would help Hannah adjust to her new surroundings. Guess I was wrong for not listening more to what she had to say. I’ll think about it more once we’re able to get a place of our own. By then, I’ll have a better idea of what our expenses will be like.

  For now, though, he should go out to the barn to make sure everything was secured for the evening. He’d wait for his brother and hope he could smooth things over with him, because the last thing he needed was for Samuel to ask them to leave. If he did, where would they go? They sure couldn’t move in with Titus and Suzanne in their small place.

  Now, don’t borrow any trouble, he told himself. Things will work out. They have to.

  CHAPTER 11

  Leaves swirled around the yard, and the wind howled eerily under the eaves of the porch as Hannah stood waiting for Bonnie to pick her and Mindy up. She gazed at the gray-blue sky and the empty fields next to Samuel’s place and wished it was spring instead of fall. They were going into Hopkinsville today to do some shopping, so maybe that would lift her spirits. Hannah looked forward to the outing because it had rained every day last week and she was tired of being cooped up in the house with Esther and the children. She’d had to learn how to deal with Esther coming over every day to watch Samuel’s children, but it wasn’t easy. Esther did things a lot differently than Hannah, but she found if she kept busy writing letters to Mom and cleaning house, the days were bearable. It wasn’t that Esther didn’t keep the house clean—she just wasn’t as structured and organized as Hannah had always been. Many times Esther had tried to engage Hannah in conversation, but since they really didn’t have much in common, there wasn’t a lot to talk about. They’d worked out an agreement to take turns fixing supper, so at least that gave Hannah a chance to do some cooking, which she enjoyed.

  Hannah watched as Esther hung some clothes on the line, using the pulley that ran from the porch to the barn. Mindy must have seen her, too, because she left Hannah’s side, darted across the porch, and tugged on Esther’s skirt. Esther stopped what she was doing, bent down, picked Mindy up, and swung her around. Hannah cringed as Mindy squealed with delight. It really bothered Hannah to see how Mindy had warmed up to Esther. It seemed like she was always hanging on Esther, wanting to crawl up into her lap to listen to a story, or just sitting beside Esther at the table. This was one more reason Hannah hoped she and Timothy could find a place of their own soon, where she and Mindy could spend more quality time together without Esther’s influence. Everyone seemed to love Esther.

  Hannah looked away, her thoughts going to Timothy. He’d been keeping very busy helping Samuel. They’d had several indoor paint jobs, which was a good thing on account of the rain. The downside was that most of the jobs were out of town, and by the time the men came home each evening, Timothy was tired and didn’t want to talk with Hannah or even spend a few minutes playing with Mindy before she was put to bed. He often went to bed early and was asleep by the time Hannah got Mindy down and crawled into bed herself. Where had the closeness they’d once felt for each other gone? What had happened to Timothy’s promise that everything would be better once they had moved? So many things had gotten in the way of what had brought them together in the first place.

  When Esther went back inside, Hannah glanced at Mindy, now frolicking back and forth across the porch, amusing herself as she pretended to be a horse. Your daadi hardly spends any time with you anymore, either. Will we ever be like a real family again?

  Hannah’s musings were halted when Bonnie’s car pulled into the yard and she tooted her horn. Grabbing Mindy’s car seat from the porch, Hannah took Mindy’s hand and hurried out to the car.

  “Where’s Esther?” Bonnie asked when Hannah opened the car door. “Aren’t she and Samuel’s little ones coming with us today?”

  Hannah shook her head. “Jared and Penny have the beginning of a cold, and she thought it’d be best if she kept them in today.”

  “I guess that makes sense. Is everyone else well?”


  “So far, and I hope it stays that way, because I sure don’t want Mindy coming down with a cold.” Hannah put Mindy’s car seat in the back and lifted Mindy into it, making sure her seat belt was securely buckled. Then she stepped into the front seat and buckled her own seat belt.

  Bonnie smiled. “I appreciate the fact that you use the seat belts without me having to ask. I know that the Amish don’t have seat belts in their buggies, so I sometimes have to remind my passengers to use them when they’re riding in my car.”

  “I’ve sometimes wished we did have seat belts,” Hannah said, “because when someone’s in a buggy accident, they’re often seriously injured.”

  Bonnie nodded with a look of understanding. “Getting to know my Amish neighbors has been one of the biggest blessings in my life, and I don’t like hearing about accidents of any kind. I pray often for my Amish and English friends, asking God to keep everyone safe.”

  “Esther mentioned that you’re a Christian and that you go to a small church in Fairview,” Hannah said.

  “Yes, that’s right.” Bonnie pulled out of Samuel’s yard and headed down the road in the direction of Hopkinsville. “It’s a very nice church, and I enjoy attending the services. When my grandma was alive, she and Grandpa used to go to that church.”

  “Have you ever attended an Amish church service?” Hannah asked.

  “Not a Sunday service, but I did go to Titus and Suzanne’s wedding, which I understand was similar to one of your regular preaching services.”

  Hannah nodded. “So what did you think of the wedding?”

  “It was nice. Quite a bit different from the weddings we Englishers have, though.”

  “When you and Allen get married, will it be at the church in Fairview?”

  Bonnie’s mouth dropped open. “Where did you get the idea that Allen and I will be getting married?”

  “Samuel said so. I heard him talking to Timothy about it during supper a few nights ago.”

  “What did he say?”

  “Just that he knew Allen was planning to marry you, and he hoped it’d be soon.”

  Bonnie gave the steering wheel a sharp rap. “That’s interesting—especially since Allen hasn’t even asked me to marry him.”

  “He hasn’t?”

  “No, but he has dropped a couple of hints along the way.”

  “Maybe he’s waiting for just the right time.”

  Bonnie kept her focus on the road.

  Did I do it again and say something I shouldn’t have? Hannah wondered. Maybe Bonnie doesn’t love Allen enough to marry him.

  Oak Grove, Kentucky

  “Samuel, I wanted to tell you again how much I appreciate your understanding after we had our little talk concerning Hannah and Esther,” Timothy said before hauling one of their paint cans across the living room of the older home they were painting.

  “Hey, it’s okay. I’m glad we had the chance to talk things out.” Samuel smiled. “We’re family, and it’s important that we all get along, for our sake, as well as the kinners’. It’s not good having unspoken tension between us.”

  “I don’t want that either,” Timothy said. “Hannah has seemed a little more content this past week, now that she and Esther are taking turns with the cooking. I’m hoping maybe with Hannah getting into some sort of a routine while getting better acquainted with life in Kentucky she’ll learn to like it here as much as I do.”

  “I hope so, too,” Samuel said, “because I’m really glad you’re here.”

  “How are things going for you two?” Allen asked Samuel when he entered the house, interrupting their conversation.

  “Real well,” Samuel replied. “We should have it done before the week is out.” He motioned to Timothy, who was kneeling on the floor, painting the baseboard an oyster shell white. “With all the work we’ve had lately, it’s sure good to have my brother’s help. Even though Timothy only worked part-time for Zach, he learned some pretty good painting skills.”

  “I can see that he’s doing a fine job.” Allen moved closer to where Samuel stood on a ladder. “I’m sure the folks who live here will be glad to hear that all the painting will be finished before Thanksgiving.”

  “Speaking of Thanksgiving, what are you doing for the holiday?” Samuel asked.

  “I’m going over to Bonnie’s.”

  “That’s good to hear. I was going to invite you to join us at Titus’s house if you didn’t have plans.”

  “I appreciate the offer,” Allen said, “but I’m really looking forward to spending the day with Bonnie. We’ve both been keeping so busy and haven’t seen much of each other lately.”

  Samuel chuckled. “You’ll never get her to agree to marry you if you don’t spend some time with her.”

  “I know. That’s why I accepted her invitation for Thanksgiving dinner. And if everything goes well, I’ll ask her to marry me before the day is out.”

  Samuel grinned. “Well now, isn’t that something? Be sure and let me know how it goes.”

  “I’d like to hear that news myself,” Timothy called from across the room.

  Allen nodded. “You two will be the first ones I tell—after my folks, of course. Oh, and I’ll also tell your brother Zach, because I’m sure he’ll be happy to hear I’m finally willing to give up the single life and have found a woman I want to marry.”

  Paradise, Pennsylvania

  “Johnny, are you sure you don’t need my help at the store today?” Sally asked her husband as they sat at the kitchen table eating breakfast. “Since Hannah’s been gone, I’ve been bored and really need something to occupy my time and thoughts.”

  “Our niece, Anna, and her friend, Phoebe Stoltzfus, are working out really well. I’m not needed there all the time, so you wouldn’t find much to do either.” Johnny pulled his fingers through the ends of his nearly gray beard. “Makes me wonder if I ought to retire and buy a little place for us in Sarasota. We could live in the community of Pinecraft, where so many Plain folks retire or vacation.”

  Sally frowned as she shook her head. “Then we’d be living even farther from Hannah. Unless Timothy brought his family down to Florida for a vacation, which I doubt, we’d rarely see them.”

  He patted her arm. “Now don’t look so worried. It was only wishful thinking on my part. I’m not really ready to retire just yet, but when the time comes for me to sell the store, I’d like to move to a place where it’s warm and sunny all year.”

  Sally felt a huge sense of relief. At least she didn’t have to worry about that for a while. She picked up her cup of tea and took a drink. “I’ve been wondering about something.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Thanksgiving’s just a week away, and I was hoping we could go to Kentucky for the holiday. It would be nice to see Hannah and find out for ourselves how she, Timothy, and Mindy are doing.”

  Johnny shook his head. “I don’t think so.”

  “Why not?”

  “It’s too soon for us to pay them a visit. Hannah needs to adjust to living in Kentucky, and seeing us right now might make it harder on her.”

  “But Johnny, our daughter’s miserable. Every time she calls, I can hear by the tone of her voice how distressed she is. And the letter I got from her the other day made me feel so sad, reading how much she misses us and wishes she could come home.”

  “Just give her more time. She’ll get over her homesickness after a while.” Johnny gulped down the rest of his coffee, scooted his chair away from the table, and stood.

  “I’m not so sure about that. Hannah liked it here in Pennsylvania, and she doesn’t like much of anything about living in Kentucky.”

  “I don’t have time to debate this with you right now. I need to get my horse and buggy ready so I can get to the store.”

  “But you said you weren’t needed there.”

  “I said I wasn’t needed as much as before, but there are still some things I need to do. I may have some boxes to unpack and move if the newest shipment came in ye
sterday afternoon when I left Anna in charge.” Johnny grabbed his straw hat, slipped into his jacket, and hurried out the door like he couldn’t get out of there soon enough.

  Tears welled in Sally’s eyes. I don’t think he cares how miserable our daughter is or even how much I miss her. If I thought for one minute that Johnny wouldn’t get angry with me, I’d catch a bus to Kentucky and go there for Thanksgiving myself!

  CHAPTER 12

  Fresno, California

  Trisha Chandler sat at the head of her small dining-room table, hands folded in her lap, and lips pursed with determination. She’d just shared a delicious noon Thanksgiving meal with her two closest friends, Shirley and Margo, whom she’d met at a widow’s support group after her husband died of a heart attack two years ago. As soon as they’d finished eating, she’d given them some news that hadn’t been well received. But she wasn’t going to let them talk her into changing her mind. No, she’d waited a long time to do something fun and adventurous, and their negative comments were not going to stop her from fulfilling a dream she’d had for several years.

  “I’ve always wanted to travel, and now that the restaurant where I’ve worked since Dave passed away has closed its doors, I think it’s time for me and my trusty little car to go out on the road,” Trisha said.

  “But it’s not safe for a woman your age to be out on her own,” Margo argued. “What if something happened to you?”

  Trisha grunted. “Nothing’s going to happen, and I’m not that old. I just turned fifty-eight last month, remember? Besides, it doesn’t matter how old I am. In this crazy world, there’s no guarantee that any of us are ever really safe.”

  Tears welled in Shirley’s blue eyes. Always tenderhearted, Shirley had joined their widow’s group six months ago when her husband lost his battle with colon cancer. “After thinking it through a bit more, maybe it’s not such a bad idea after all. Truthfully, I wish I could be brave enough to venture out on my own,” she said. “We’re going to miss you, Trisha, that’s for sure.”