The Hope Jar Read online

  Ezekiel has a lot to deal with right now, Michelle thought as she made her way down the path along the side of the road. Now that the truth is out, he’s been forced to choose between his truck and living at home with his family. How could his parents make their son face such a thing?

  She kicked at a twig with the toe of her sneaker. Ezekiel and I are two of a kind. Life hasn’t been fair to either of us, and we’ve both become liars. I wonder if he feels as guilty as I do for keeping a secret. While it hadn’t gone well for Ezekiel when the truth came out, Michelle could only imagine how bad it would be for her once the Lapps found out about her deceit.

  Her thoughts went to Willis and Mary Ruth. How can I keep deceiving those good people? They think I’m one person, when I’m really another. Tears blurred her vision, and she blinked to clear it. I don’t deserve all the kindness they’ve shown me. If only there was some way I could make it up to them.

  Michelle had to be gone by October, but unless her deception was discovered before then, she planned to stay until a few days before the real Sara arrived. The mere thought of leaving this place and the special people she’d come to know and love caused her heart to feel as though it would break and send her world spinning into a sea of depression and gloom.

  When a car pulled up alongside Michelle, she stopped in midstride. In the front seat sat a rugged-looking, dark-haired man. He reminded her of Jerry. Not necessarily his appearance, but the way he looked at her with such a smug expression.

  Michelle’s mouth went dry as she had a flashback, remembering how a few weeks ago she’d been stopped by those obnoxious young men on her way back to the Lapps’ house from the post office. Fortunately, Brad had come along and offered her a ride home. She gulped. But today I’m on my own.

  “You look lost. Do you need a ride somewhere?” The driver’s voice was smooth, and his expression overly confident.

  She shook her head.

  He rode slowly beside her as she kept walking and looking straight ahead.

  “You sure about that?”

  She gave a quick nod and picked up her speed. Michelle’s hands turned clammy, as her adrenaline spiked. Here I am in the same predicament. She bit her lip, hoping to see Brad pull up once again, or even Ezekiel, and come to her rescue. What should I do? I can never outrun his vehicle, any more than those threatening teenagers’ convertible. She sent up a quick prayer. Please help me, God. Make this guy move on and leave me alone.

  “Okay. Sorry I bothered you. You looked lonely, and I figured you might need some company.”

  “I don’t.”

  He shrugged, then waved. “Okay, pretty lady. Have a nice walk.”

  When the car moved on, Michelle pressed a palm against her beating heart and blew out a breath of relief. Wiping the sweat from her brow, she kept her eyes focused up ahead. I pray that guy doesn’t turn around and come back. This would be the last time she would take a walk out here by herself. In the big city, she realized she had to be careful and keep eyes in the back of her head, but Michelle didn’t expect the threat to be here. Next time she wanted to go for a walk, she would bring Sadie or even Rascal along. Some people were intimidated by a dog. Plus, she was sure Sadie, at least, would try to protect her.

  Michelle turned and headed back toward the Lapps’. She hadn’t gone far when she spotted Ezekiel’s truck coming in the opposite direction. Where was he when I needed him?

  The truck slowed, then stopped. Ezekiel opened the passenger’s door. “Hop in, Sara, I’ll give you a ride home.”

  With no hesitation, Michelle climbed in and buckled her seatbelt. “Where are you headed? Did your dad kick you out? Are you leaving your family and striking out on your own?”

  “Nope. Not yet anyway. Just picked up the truck from my cousin’s house, and now I’m takin’ it to a friend’s home in Smoketown.”

  Her brows lifted. “Smoketown? That’s a ways from here, isn’t it? How are you planning to get home from there?”

  “Sam will give me a ride with his horse and buggy. I’ll head there as soon as I’ve dropped you off home.” Ezekiel pulled out onto the road.

  Michelle drew in her lower lip. “The Lapps’ house is not really my home.”

  He rubbed his chin. “Yeah, but it is while you’re visiting them, right?”

  Michelle’s mind raced with the possibility of telling Ezekiel the truth. Would it ruin their friendship if he knew? Would he be as understanding about her situation as she was with his?

  “I’m sorry about the other night.” Ezekiel broke into her thoughts. “I wanted to talk to you about it when I took you home, but I was too upset to make any sense. Besides, I was embarrassed.”

  “You mean because your folks insisted you get rid of your truck?”

  “Partly, but mostly because of the way they treated you during supper.” He groaned. “They’re afraid I’m getting serious about you. Mom came right out and accused me of that this morning. She thinks you’re the reason I’ve decided not to join the church.”

  “Am I?” she dared to ask. “And have you decided for sure not to join?”

  “You’re not the reason I won’t join, but I do have deep feelings for you.”

  Michelle sat beside Ezekiel, too stunned to speak. So my suspicions are true.

  “You’re awfully quiet. Are you upset because of what I said?”

  “No, I’m just surprised, is all.”

  Ezekiel pulled his truck onto the Lapps’ driveway, then stopped the vehicle and took hold of her hand. “You had to know.”

  “Well, I …” Michelle moistened her parched lips.

  “I was hoping you might care about me too, Sara.”

  “I—I do, but …” She paused, searching for the right words. “I’m not the person you think I am. You deserve someone better than me.”

  Ezekiel slipped his arms around Michelle and pulled her close. “You’re everything I need. As soon as I get a little more money saved up, I may decide to get a place of my own, and then …”

  Michelle put her finger against his lips. “I can’t talk about this right now. Go ahead and take the truck to your friend’s place. We can discuss this in a few days.”

  Ezekiel kissed her cheek. “Okay, sounds good.”

  Mary Ruth glanced at the grandfather clock on the far living-room wall. “I wonder what’s taking Sara so long”

  Willis set his newspaper aside and looked at Mary Ruth. “As usual, you worry too much. She said she was going for a geloffe, and some walks take longer than others.”

  She grunted. “I realize that, but Sara said she wouldn’t be gone long.”

  “Well, maybe she’s already back and just hasn’t come inside yet. She could be out in the barn or doing something with one of the hund.”

  “I suppose, but still …” Her stomach quivered as she reflected on the day they realized Rhoda had left home. Surely our granddaughter would not leave without saying goodbye. Oh, I hope that is not the case.

  Mary Ruth stood. “I’m going outside to look for her.”

  “Suit yourself, but I still think you’re worried for nothing.”

  Ignoring her husband’s comment, Mary Ruth went out the front door. She’d no more than stepped onto the porch when she spotted a truck sitting at the end of their driveway. Now that’s strange. I wonder who the vehicle belongs to.

  Mary Ruth remained on the porch, watching. She was surprised when a few minutes later, Sara stepped out of the truck. As she began walking toward the house, the truck backed out of the driveway and pulled onto the road.

  “I’m glad you’re back. I was concerned about you,” Mary Ruth admitted when Sara joined her on the porch.

  Sara tipped her head. “Really? Was I gone that long?”

  Mary Ruth nodded. “Almost two hours.”

  “Well, I’m sorry for causing you to worry. Ezekiel picked me as I was walking back, and he gave me a ride the rest of the way.”

  Mary Ruth frowned. “Does he own that truck?”


  “Yes, but …”

  “Oh dear. I bet his parents are upset. They’re quite strict, and I don’t think either of them would approve of any of their children owning a motorized vehicle.”

  “But Grandma, Ezekiel is twenty-four years old, and he’s not a member of the Amish church. Shouldn’t he have the right to do whatever he pleases?”

  “Not as long as he’s still living under his parents’ roof.” Mary Ruth folded her arms. “He needs to respect and abide by their rules. Our children were taught that as well. Although …” Her voice trailed off. “Never mind, Sara. Since you weren’t brought up Amish, I can’t expect you to understand our ways. Let’s go inside. It’s time to start lunch.”

  Sara went silently into the house. As Mary Ruth stepped in behind her, she was hit with the realization that no matter how much she may want it, Sara was not Amish and could never comprehend what an Amish parent went through when one of their children went astray. She could only hope, for Vernon and Belinda King’s sake, that their son Ezekiel didn’t make the same mistake Rhoda had made. She also hoped that the Kings didn’t say or do anything to drive him away.

  Chapter 32

  Lancaster

  Brad sat at the kitchen table in the small apartment he shared with his friend, Ned, contemplating whether he should go over to the Lapps to see Sara before he left town. She had seemed so troubled the last time they talked. Brad wanted to help her in some way. He’d dialed the Lapps’ phone number so many times, but always hung up before leaving a message.

  Once school started, Brad knew any free time he’d have would be minimal. His conscience told him to wait and not be pushy—let Sara get in touch with him if she wanted to connect before he left. Another part of him wanted to forge ahead and try to counsel her if needed. Brad didn’t know why he’d been vacillating so much. He just needed clear direction.

  He opened his Bible to James 1, verse 5, and read it aloud. “ ‘If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.’ ”

  Brad bowed his head. Why am I still struggling over this, Lord? I know You have placed a call on my life, and it does not include a relationship with a woman who is not a believer. Yet I can’t get Sara out of my thoughts. Please give me wisdom and the strength to say no to my fleshly desires. Remind me daily to keep my eyes upon You. Amen.

  Brad wasn’t sure if his attraction to Sara was purely physical or if it went deeper, but he could not allow himself to get caught up in a relationship with a woman who didn’t share his devotion to God. Besides, he was almost certain Sara was hiding something—perhaps from her past—that could also stand in the way of a relationship with her.

  Maybe this is why I’m attracted to Sara. Is my sense that she needs help in some way the reason I’m drawn to her? Brad ran his hand down the side of his face. Never had he felt so confused. For a fleeting moment, he wondered if he had what it took for the ministry. Shouldn’t he be able to discern things better if he was a servant of the Lord?

  Brad left the kitchen and looked around his apartment at all the things he still needed to pack. He was glad he’d be leaving for seminary in a week. Getting into his studies and putting his focus on the goal before him should take his mind off Sara, although he would remember to pray for her and hopefully keep in touch.

  Strasburg

  Michelle sat in the back of the Lapps’ buggy, trying to relax while Willis drove the three of them to town for lunch. It was the last Friday of August, and things were happening too fast. Brad would be leaving for seminary next week, and she hadn’t had a chance to say goodbye to him yet. Between all the garden produce Michelle had been helping Mary Ruth pick and process, plus housekeeping, laundry, and taking care of her dog, there was little time for socializing. She figured Brad must be busy too, since he hadn’t come by the house for several weeks. Willis had called Brad for a ride one day last week, but Brad said he was busy packing and doing a few runs for other people, so he’d have to pass. Michelle wondered if he might be avoiding her. It was probably for the best that he’d be leaving soon. Brad deserved someone better than her—a woman who shared his faith and didn’t tell lies to get what she wanted. Besides, she’d already decided that she and Ezekiel were better suited.

  Not that I can be with either man. She leaned her head against the back of her seat and closed her eyes. Between the steady clip-clop of the horse’s feet, and the gentle sway of the buggy, it was difficult to stay awake.

  Yawning, Michelle thought about how upset Mary Ruth had seemed last week when she found out about Ezekiel’s truck. Michelle couldn’t blame her. The idea that Ezekiel might leave his Amish roots was probably a reminder to Mary Ruth of what her daughter had done when she left without a good explanation or telling them goodbye in person.

  Michelle drew a breath, unable to fill her lungs completely. Here I am, supposed to be the Lapps’ granddaughter, and I’ll be leaving soon. Just like Rhoda, I’ll be yanking the rug out from under them. Of course, she reminded herself, soon after I’m gone, the real Sara will show up, and then things will be better—at least for Mary Ruth and Willis.

  She pressed a fist against her chest. Michelle could hardly stand to think about the day she would need to go and wondered how best to let her pretend grandparents know she was leaving. If it wasn’t for their real granddaughter coming in October, Michelle could have stayed here forever.

  She was living a dream right now, but it shattered every time she faced the truth: This isn’t real. It’s only a sham—one I created myself the moment I left the bus station in Philly with two of the greatest people I’ve ever known.

  A desire to escape the sadness filling her being was so intense, Michelle almost asked Willis to stop the horse so she could get out of the buggy. But that was ridiculous. Where would she go with so little money and only the clothes on her back? And what reason would she offer for getting out of the buggy and running off down the street?

  Michelle tugged her earlobe. This is ridiculous. I need to get a hold of myself and quit thinking such dumb thoughts. Jumping out of a buggy in the middle of the road is no way to make a sensible exit.

  “We’re almost at the Hershey Farm Restaurant,” Willis announced, halting Michelle’s contemplations. “Just a few more blocks to go.”

  Michelle sat up straight. She’d never eaten at this restaurant before and hoped the food was good. Her appetite had diminished since Ezekiel’s birthday supper, and thinking about the mess she’d made of her life, it was hard to get in the mood for a noon meal.

  Willis pulled Bashful to a stop at a red light. He’d taken his closed-in buggy today, since showers were predicted for this afternoon.

  As they waited at the light, Michelle glanced at the car that had pulled up beside them in the left-turn lane. Her eyes widened, and she stifled a gasp when she realized it was none other than Jerry’s car. She’d recognize it anywhere, with rust forming around the spot that had been damaged, and the big dent in the passenger rear door that never got fixed after Jerry had been involved in a fender-bender. He had used the insurance money he’d received for something else.

  Michelle scooched as far back in her seat as possible, but leaned forward briefly to peek out the window, to be sure she hadn’t imagined it was Jerry. No, it was him all right. She cringed and ducked her head when she saw him looking at their buggy with a smirk on his face.

  Remembering a derogatory comment he’d made once about the Amish while they watched that reality show together, Michelle could almost guess what he must be thinking. Jerry thought the Amish were living in the dark ages and shouldn’t be allowed to drive their horse and buggies on the roads. He’d commented on the women’s long dresses, saying they looked like pioneers.

  Michelle’s heartbeat picked up speed. What is he doing here in this area? Oh, I hope he didn’t see me here in the backseat. Wish I was dressed in Amish clothes right now. It would be a good disguise.

  The fear Jerry had i
nstilled in her life came back to Michelle in a flash. Being with the Lapps all this time, she’d been able to put him and those feelings of fear behind her. But now, seeing Jerry again had dredged up the past—a past she’d rather forget. Sitting here at the red light, a few feet from Jerry’s vehicle, caused Michelle to break out in a sweat. Now I won’t be able to go anywhere without looking in every direction and wondering if Jerry is close by.

  She drew a deep breath through her nose and gave a noisy exhale when the light changed and Jerry turned left. Even if he did catch a glimpse of me, I’m sure he didn’t realize who I was. I know Jerry well, and he would never expect me to be in an Amish buggy.

  “Is everything all right back there, Sara?” Mary Ruth turned in her seat to look at Michelle. “You’ve been awfully quiet since we left home, and then a few seconds ago, you made a strange sort of gasping noise.”

  “I’m fine,” Michelle assured her. “I’m tired and sorta dozed off for a few minutes.” Michelle wasn’t about to mention seeing Jerry. She glanced out the window again. No sign of Jerry’s car, so that was a relief. If he had recognized her, he would have turned around and come back to check things out. Michelle could only imagine how things would play out if Jerry met Willis and Mary Ruth and found out that Michelle had been posing as their granddaughter. Everything would blow up in her face.

  I’ll need to be more cautious from now on, she told herself. I’ll have to watch out everywhere I go and be on the lookout for Jerry. This is one more reason I can’t go out walking alone anymore.

  Chapter 33

  As Michelle sat on the unyielding wooden bench during church the first Sunday of September, her thoughts went to Brad. He would be leaving the area tomorrow, and she might never see him again. She should have tried to get in touch with him this past week. But she kept talking herself out of it. What would be the point? From what he had told her, his studies would keep him busy, and he’d have little time for much else. Besides, she’d also be leaving soon. So the friendship she had developed with Brad would be a thing of the past.