Clowning Around Read online

  At last someone’s hand went up in the front row. Joe grinned. “Ah-ha—a pretty lady with long blond hair has finally responded.”

  ❧

  Lois slid down in her seat. What in the world possessed me to raise my hand? She’d celebrated her twenty-second birthday two weeks ago, but she didn’t need the whole audience looking at her now, which was exactly what they were doing!

  The tall clown moved toward her. He wore a broad smile on his white-painted face, and his hand was outstretched. “A beautiful bouquet for the birthday gal,” he said with a deep chuckle.

  Lois forced herself to smile in return.

  “Do you know what flowers grow between your nose and chin?”

  She shook her head.

  “Tulips!”

  Everyone laughed, and the clown winked at Lois. “Would you like to tell us your name and when you celebrated your birthday?”

  “My name is Lois Johnson, and my birthday was two weeks ago.”

  Slow-Joe shuffled his feet, lifted his floppy hat, then plopped it back down on his head. “Ta-da!” He held out the bouquet to her.

  Suddenly, the young girl sitting beside Lois bounced up and down, crying, “I want a balloon! I want a balloon!” She leaped out of her seat and lunged forward, obviously hoping to grab a balloon out of Slow-Joe’s hands. Instead she tripped and tumbled against his knees. He wobbled back and forth, and the audience laughed loudly.

  Lois wondered if this were part of the act, but suddenly Joe fell forward and landed in her lap. She figured it had to be an accident and the child was just over-excited. Or was it? Hadn’t she told God that if He wanted her to have a man, He’d have to drop him into her lap? She swallowed hard and stared into the clown’s hazel eyes.

  “Sorry,” he mumbled. “Don’t know how that happened.” He handed Lois the balloon bouquet and stood up. He turned back to face the audience and wiggled his dark eyebrows. “Let’s sing the birthday song to Lois, shall we?”

  Lois felt the heat of embarrassment creep up her neck. This is what I get for being dumb enough to raise my hand.

  The young girl who had been sitting next to her now stood beside the clown. Before anyone could say anything, she started singing at the top of her lungs: “Happy Birthday to you. . .”

  The audience joined in, and Lois stared straight ahead, wishing she could make herself invisible. When the song was over, she leaned toward Slow-Joe and whispered, “Thanks for the flowers.”

  He nodded, took a bow, and dashed backstage.

  Lois sat through the rest of the program feeling as if she were in a daze. Why had the clown singled her out? Well, after all, I did raise my hand when he asked who’d had a birthday recently, she reminded herself. What else could he do?

  When the service was over, Lois made her way to the foyer, where she found Tabby and Seth standing by the front door. She tapped her sister on her shoulder. “You guys were great as usual.”

  Tabby turned and smiled. “Thanks. Your part of the program wasn’t bad either.”

  “Yeah, we were watching from off-stage,” Seth said, patting Lois on the back. “Maybe you should leave your secretarial job and become a clown. You had the audience in stitches.”

  Lois groaned. “It was that goofy clown who made everyone laugh.” She shook her head. “It was bad enough that he fell into my lap, but he only embarrassed me more by having everyone sing to me.”

  “Aw, it was all in fun,” Seth said with a chuckle.

  “We’re heading out for some pie and coffee. Want to join us?” Tabby asked, giving Lois a little nudge.

  She shrugged. “Sure—why not? At least there I won’t have any reason to hide my face.”

  Three

  The all-night coffee shop Seth picked was bustling with activity. Lois slipped into a booth by the window, and Tabby and Seth took the other side.

  “You ladies feel free to order anything you want,” Seth said, offering Lois a wide smile. “This is my treat, so you may as well go overboard and order something really fattening if you feel so inclined.”

  Tabby snickered. “Does my little sister look as if she ever goes overboard when it comes to eating?” She wagged a finger toward Lois. “What I wouldn’t give to have a figure like yours.”

  Lois shook her head. “My high metabolism and a half hour of aerobics every day might help keep me looking thin, but I have been known to indulge. Especially when chocolate is involved.”

  “Women and their addiction to chocolate!” Seth grabbed Tabby’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “I guess if that’s your worst sin, I can consider myself very blessed.”

  Tabby groaned. “You know I’m far from perfect, Seth.”

  “What’s this about someone being perfect?”

  The three young people turned toward the masculine voice. Even without his costume and clown makeup, Lois would have recognized that smile. Slow-Joe the Clown wiggled his eyebrows and gave her a crooked grin.

  “Good to see you, Joe. I was just telling my beautiful wife how lucky I am to have her.” Seth gestured toward the empty seat next to Lois. “Why don’t you take a load off those big clown feet and join us for pie and coffee?”

  “Don’t mind if I do.” Joe dropped down beside Lois. She squirmed uneasily and slid along the bench until her hip bumped the wall. “It’s good to see you again, Birthday Girl.” He extended his hand. “I don’t think we’ve been formally introduced. I’m Joe Richey.”

  “I–I’m Lois Johnson,” she said. “Tabby’s my sister, and Seth is my brother-in-law.”

  As they shook hands, Joe’s face broke into a broad smile. “Sure hope I didn’t embarrass you too much during my performance tonight.”

  “Well—”

  “So tell me, Seth—how’d you meet this perfect wife of yours?” Joe asked, changing the subject abruptly.

  Lois felt a sense of irritation, but at the same time she was relieved Joe had interrupted her and taken the conversation in another direction. At least she wasn’t the focus of their discussion anymore.

  “Tabby took one of my ventriloquist classes, and I was drawn to her like a moth heading straight for a flame.” Seth turned his head and gave Tabby a noisy kiss on her cheek.

  Joe chuckled. “Since I’m not married, I don’t consider myself an expert on the subject, but I recently heard about a man who met his wife at a travel bureau.”

  “Oh?” Seth said with obvious interest. “And what’s so unusual about that?”

  Joe grinned and turned to wink at Lois. “She was looking for a vacation, and he was the last resort.”

  Everyone laughed, and Lois felt herself begin to relax.

  “Adam and Eve had the only perfect marriage,” Joe continued, his eyes looking suddenly serious.

  “What makes you say that?” asked Tabby.

  Joe tapped his knuckles on the table. “Think about it. Adam didn’t have to hear about all the men Eve could have married, and Eve wasn’t forced to listen to a bunch of stories about the way Adam’s mother cooked.”

  Seth howled, and Tabby slapped him playfully on the arm. He tickled her under the chin. “The other day I heard my wife telling our neighbors I was a model husband. I felt pretty good about that until I looked up the word in a dictionary.”

  “What did it say?” Lois asked, putting her elbows on the table and leaning forward.

  “A model is a small imitation of the real thing.”

  Another gale of laughter went around the table, but the waitress came then to take their order. Lois figured it was time to get serious, so she ordered a cup of herbal tea and a brownie. Tabby settled for coffee and a maple bar. Both men asked for coffee and hot-apple pie, topped with vanilla ice cream. While they waited for their orders, the joke-telling continued.

  “I’ve heard that marriage is comparable to twirling a baton, turning hand springs, or eating with chopsticks,” Joe said with a sly grin on his face. “It looks really easy ’til you try it.”

  “I wouldn’t know. I’m an old mai
d of twenty-two,” Lois interjected.

  Joe bobbed his head up and down and chuckled. “Wow, that is pretty old.”

  Tabby wrinkled her nose. “Not to be outdone—when Seth and I got married, it was for better or worse. I couldn’t do better, and he couldn’t do worse.”

  Remembering the days of her sister’s low self-esteem, Lois quickly jumped in. “That’s not true, Tabby, and you know it.”

  Tabby raised her eyebrows and looked at Lois. “I was only kidding.”

  Joe nudged Lois gently in the ribs with his elbow. “Did you know this is National Clown Month?”

  She shook her head.

  “Yes, and as a clown I feel it’s my duty to make as many people laugh as possible.” Joe then tapped Lois on the shoulder. “Do you like to laugh?”

  “Sure.”

  “And do you enjoy making other people laugh?”

  She shrugged. “I suppose so.”

  “Then maybe you’ve got what it takes to be a clown.” Joe grinned. “Don’t mind me—I’m always trying to recruit others to become clowns.”

  Lois wasn’t sure what to say in response, so she merely turned her head away and stared out the window. The idea of her becoming a clown seemed ridiculous. She studied her little green car sitting under the street light next to Seth’s black Bronco. If she could only come up with a legitimate excuse, she’d forget about her chocolate treat and head straight for home. Joe Richey was cute and funny, but at the moment he was making her feel rather uncomfortable.

  ❧

  Joe clenched his teeth and squished the napkin in his lap into a tight ball. I think I’ve blown it with this woman. I had her laughing one minute, and the next minute she’s giving me the silent treatment. What’d I say or do that turned her off?

  “When will your next performance be, Joe?” Seth asked.

  “Tonight was my last one for awhile.”

  “How come?” Tabby questioned. “I’d think a funny guy like you would be in high demand.”

  “I guess I am, because I’ve been doing back-to-back programs all summer,” Joe said. “I’m in need of a break, though. Thought I might head for the beach or go up to Mt. Rainier to relax.”

  Seth nodded. “Makes sense to me. All work and no play—well, you know the rest of that saying. Even Jesus needed to get away from the crowds once in awhile. If you don’t take time for yourself, you’ll burn out like a candle in the wind.”

  “How long have you been clowning?” Lois asked.

  At least she’s speaking to me again. Joe turned his head and offered her his best smile. “Ever since I was a kid, but professionally for about two years.”

  As Joe leaned even closer to Lois, his senses were assaulted by the subtle fragrance of peaches. It must be her shampoo. He wondered if her hair was as soft as it looked, and he fought the urge to reach out and touch the long, golden tresses. “Do you live around here, Lois?” he asked.

  “Tabby and I grew up in Olympia, and our folks still live there.” Lois smiled. “We both settled in Tacoma when we found jobs here.”

  Joe tapped the edge of his water glass with one finger. “I’m from Olympia too.”

  “Really? What part of town?” Lois asked.

  “The north side.”

  “Lois drives to Olympia a couple of times a month,” Tabby said, smiling at Joe. “Maybe you two should get together sometime.”

  ❧

  Lois nearly choked on the sip of water she’d just taken. She had the distinct feeling she was being set up. Maybe her well-meaning sister had planned it so Joe would meet them at the coffee shop. It might be that the little schemer was trying to play matchmaker. Who knows? Tabby could have been behind that whole scenario at the church tonight. She may have asked Joe to single me out with the balloon bouquet and birthday song.

  Lois resolved to have a little heart-to-heart talk with her sister. If she ever had another man in her life, she needed to do the picking. Tabby might have her best interests at heart, but she wasn’t Lois’s keeper. Besides, Lois wasn’t looking for a man now.

  She gave Joe a sidelong glance, and he smiled, a slow, lazy grin that set her heart racing. He sure is cute. And he did fall into my lap. The waitress brought their desserts, which helped Lois force her thoughts off the man who was sitting much too close. She concentrated on the piece of chocolate decadence on her plate. A little sugar for her sweet tooth and some herbal tea to soothe her nerves, and she would be right as rain.

  Four

  “Don’t keep me in suspense. Did he call or what?”

  Lois glanced over her shoulder. Tabby had just entered the church office and was looking at her like an expectant child waiting to open her birthday presents.

  “Did who call?”

  “Joe Richey.”

  “No, he didn’t call,” Lois answered as she shut down her computer for the day.

  “You did give him your phone number, didn’t you? I thought I saw you hand him a slip of paper the other night when we were at the coffee shop.”

  Lois slid her chair away from the desk and stood up. “Tabby Beyers, get a life!”

  Tabby folded her arms across her chest and wrinkled her nose. “I have a life. I’m a wife, a daycare worker, and a ventriloquist.”

  Lois puckered her lips. “Then that ought to keep you busy enough so you can manage to mind your own business and not mine.”

  Tabby stuck out her tongue. “For your information, I’m only interested in your welfare.”

  “I appreciate that.” Lois smiled, her irritation lessening. “If you don’t mind, though, I think I can worry about my own welfare.”

  Tabby shrugged. “Whatever you say. Starting next month I won’t be around much to meddle in your life, anyway.”

  Lois drew her brows together. “What’s that supposed to mean? You and Seth aren’t planning to move, I hope.”

  Tabby shook her head. “We’d never intentionally move from Tacoma. We like it here too much.” She fluttered her lashes. “It’s all that liquid sunshine, you know.”

  Lois laughed and reached for her purse, hanging on the coat tree by the door. “If you’re not moving, then why won’t you be around much?”

  “We’re going on an evangelistic tour with several other Christian workers,” Tabby explained. “We’ll be traveling around the state of Washington and to a few places in Oregon and Idaho. Probably be gone at least a month. Maybe longer if we get a good response.”

  “Is Slow-Joe the Clown going with you?” Lois asked. She didn’t know why, but she hoped he wasn’t. They’d only met a few nights ago, so she hardly knew the man. She’d never admit it to Tabby, but Joe had promised to call. She looked forward to it, because there was something about the goofy guy that stirred her interest, even if she had felt uncomfortable in his presence. She wasn’t sure if it were his silly antics and wisecracks, his hazel eyes with the gold flecks, or his mop of curly brown hair that made him so appealing.

  “Lois, are you listening to me?”

  Lois whirled around to face her sister. “Huh?”

  “You asked if Joe Richey was going on tour with us, and I said no. But you’re standing there staring at your purse as if you’re in a world of your own.” Tabby wrinkled her nose. “I’m sure you didn’t hear a word I said.”

  Lois laughed self-consciously. “I guess I was kind of in my own world.”

  Tabby’s eyes narrowed. “Thinking about Joe, I’ll bet.”

  Lois couldn’t deny it, so she asked another question. “If you’re going on tour for a month or longer, how will Donna manage the day care?”

  Tabby waved her hand. “She already has that covered. Corrie, our helper, has a friend who has been taking some child development classes. Donna thought she’d give her a try.” She shrugged. “Who knows? Maybe I’ll quit the day care. Then Corrie can take my place.”

  “Quit the day care?” Lois could hardly believe it. “But you love working with the kids. I can’t imagine your doing anything else.”

&n
bsp; Tabby started for the door. “How about becoming a full-time mother?”

  Lois’s mouth dropped open. “You’re pregnant?”

  “Not yet, but I’m hopeful. Seth and I have been married two years, you know. We both think it’s time to start a family.”

  Sudden envy surged through Lois, and she blinked several times to hold back tears that threatened to spill over. She loved children. That was why she was teaching a Sunday school class. How ironic. Tabby used to be jealous of me, and now I feel the same way toward her. Help me in this area, Lord.

  ❧

  Joe searched through his closet for the right clothes to take to the beach. It could be windy, cold, rainy, or sunny along the Washington coast, even during the month of August. He’d probably need to take a couple of sweatshirts, some shorts, one or two pairs of jeans and, of course, his most comfortable pair of sneakers.

  His favorite thing to do at the ocean was beachcomb. The flower beds in his backyard gave evidence of that. Pieces of driftwood adorned nearly every bed, and scattered throughout the plants were shells of all sizes and shapes. Stationed beside his front door were two buoys he’d discovered after a winter storm one year, and a fishbowl full of beach agates was displayed on his fireplace mantel.

  Joe wondered why he didn’t sell the old house he’d grown up in and buy a small cabin near the beach. He knew it would be more peaceful there. But then he’d be farther from the cities where he found most of his work.

  As he packed his clothes into his suitcase, Joe noticed one of his clown suits lying on the floor. He’d forgotten to put it in the hamper.

  Joseph Andrew Richey, you’re a slob! You need to learn to pick up after yourself. Joe could hear his mother’s sharp words, as if she were standing right there in his room.

  She had always been a neat freak, unless she was in one of her down moods. Then she didn’t care what she or the house looked like. Joe could never understand how his mother could yell at her children one day to pick up their things and the next day sink into such despair that she’d need a bulldozer to clear the clutter off the kitchen table.