The Hope Jar Page 18

  With hands clasped under her chin, Michelle pondered the words, hoping to figure out their meaning. How does one come out and be separate? Is this what Amish people are trying to do—be separate from the rest of the world by their Plain lifestyle and strict religious views?

  Her forehead wrinkled. And what about the part of the second verse that says the Lord will be our Father and we shall be His sons and daughters? Maybe I should ask Brad about this verse when I go out to dinner with him tomorrow night.

  Michelle glanced at her watch. It will actually be tonight, since it’s now two o’clock in the morning. She yawned and put the folded paper back in the jar. Guess I need to try and get a few hours of sleep before it’s time to start breakfast.

  She put the old jar back on the shelf behind the others and picked up her flashlight, prepared to leave the barn. Maybe before I go back in, I’ll take a quick look at the piglets and see how they’re doing.

  Michelle walked back to the sow’s stall and, shining the light, she looked in. Penny was sleeping, and so were fourteen of her babies. One of the brood, a little smaller than the others, had wandered off by itself and couldn’t seem to find the way back to its mama. Its high-pitched squealing didn’t seem to bother Penny. Poor mama. She must be exhausted.

  Michelle opened the stall door and slipped quietly in. When she bent down to pick up the wailing piglet, her throat clogged up, and tears sprang to her eyes. These pigs had a mother as well as brothers and sisters. Michelle had no one except a pretend grandma and grandpa. And all the crying she’d ever done over the years hadn’t brought anyone to comfort her.

  Her thoughts went to her brothers, Ernie and Jack. How old would they be this year? “Let’s see.” Michelle counted on her fingers. “I can’t believe my baby brother, Jack, will be twenty, and Ernie, twenty-two years old.” Oh, how she wished she knew what had happened to them after they were taken from their parents. Had they gone to the same foster family, or had they been separated from each other, like she had been?

  The last time Michelle saw them would be etched in her mind forever. She was only ten years old at the time, but it was like yesterday. As the car drove away, taking her brothers from her, a scream lodged in her throat. Their eyes locked with hers for the very last time, as they watched from the back window of the car. Michelle saw the desperation in Ernie’s and Jack’s faces but was helpless to do anything about it. Her heart felt like it had been broken into a million pieces. The vehicle got farther and farther away, and her brothers faded along with it—the last of her family being stripped away. Then it was Michelle’s turn to be taken away, leaving her parents and getting into a car with strangers who would take her to a new place. Fourteen years ago, Michelle and her brothers had become wards of the state, and there was nothing she could do about it.

  A sense of longing welled in her soul. Did Jack and Ernie ever think about her, or were the boys too young back then to even remember her now? Surely at six and eight years old, they would have recalled something about their sister. But maybe it was best if they didn’t. Michelle had nothing to offer her brothers, and she hadn’t done anything to make Ernie and Jack proud.

  Blinking back tears as she refocused her thoughts, Michelle put the tiny pig next to its mother and left the stall. Turning back for one last look, she saw that all was quiet now, as the little runt squirmed in between the others.

  Who knows, maybe someday our paths will cross. If I ever get my life stable, I hope the day will come when I can find my brothers, and we’ll never be parted again.

  Chapter 24

  Thank you for fixing our breakfast.” Mary Ruth smiled at Michelle from across the kitchen table.

  “No problem. It was the least I could do, considering all you’ve done for me.” Michelle paused to drink some of her apple juice. “You two have become like the family I never had.”

  Willis’s brows lifted. “But your mother and father were your family.”

  Michelle’s face warmed. “Yes, of course. What I meant was, you’re the grandparents I never knew.”

  “So you never met your father’s parents?” Mary Ruth asked.

  Michelle shook her head. “Guess they didn’t want anything to do with my dad.” She had spoken the truth in that regard. Of course, Michelle had no idea what the real Sara’s situation might be. For all she knew, Sara Murray might have a great relationship with her other grandparents.

  Relief spread through Michelle when the Lapps changed the subject. Anything she would say to them about the family they thought she had would be a lie anyway.

  While Willis and Mary Ruth talked about the baby pigs, Michelle wondered about the real Sara Murray. Michelle wished in some ways that she could meet and get to know the Lapps’ granddaughter. It would be interesting to get acquainted with the young woman they believed her to be. What did Sara look like? What kinds of things did she enjoy doing? Did she have a job or a boyfriend? Were Michelle and Sara anything alike? She doubted it.

  Michelle didn’t even know what the Lapps’ daughter looked like, because they had no pictures of her. All she knew was that her own hair, ironically, was the same color as Rhoda’s. That fact made it easier for Michelle to pass herself off as their granddaughter.

  As Michelle stared at her plate of scrambled eggs and ham, her appetite diminished. If Sara knew I was here, pretending to be her, I bet she’d hate me.

  Newark

  Sara took a seat at the kitchen table and opened her plastic box full of beads. Since today was Saturday and she had no college classes or work schedule, it was a good time to make a few pieces of jewelry. Sara enjoyed this hobby—something she’d begun doing when she was in high school. She planned to make something for herself today, and perhaps another time she would make something to take to Strasburg when she went to meet her grandparents in October.

  Sara hummed as she picked out certain colors. “Think I’ll make a scarf ring to wear with the blue scarf Mama loved so much.” She continued to hum while separating out the various shades of blue beads. When Sara was a little girl, her mother used to hum to her when she was sick or had a hard time falling asleep. She recalled how the roles reversed when Mama became so ill. In fact, Sara had been humming to her mother when she passed away.

  Pushing the painful memory aside, she picked up several more glass beads and turned her thoughts toward the Lapps. Maybe when I do this again, I’ll make Grandma a bracelet or necklace. And Grandpa might like a keychain.

  Sara could hardly wait to meet them and learn about her mother’s childhood. She tried not to think of the short letter she’d received that seemed so impersonal. Sara wanted to believe she had misinterpreted her grandparents being too busy to meet her just yet. Even more so though, she had high hopes of finding out everything about her father. I’m sure they must know who he is.

  Strasburg

  When Brad arrived at the Lapps’ place to pick up Sara, he found her kneeling outside the barn door, petting the Lapps’ collie.

  “Last night one of my grandpa’s sows gave birth to fifteen piglets. Would you like to see them?” She stood up and motioned him over, while Sadie darted across the yard, chasing after a black-and-white cat.

  “Sure.” Brad joined Sara, and when they entered the barn, she led the way to the sow’s stall.

  “Just look at them. Aren’t they cute?” Sara leaned over the gate, pointing to one of the smaller baby pigs. “That’s the runt. Early this morning, I had to help the poor little thing find its way to the mama.”

  Brad smiled at the enthusiasm he saw on her face. “Pigs are sure cute when they’re babies. But then I guess most animals are.”

  Nodding, Sara pulled back from the gate. “We can go now if you’re ready. I just wanted you to see the piglets.” A lock of her long auburn hair fell against her cheek as she stood up straight.

  Instinctively, Brad reached out to brush it back in place. He was surprised when she flinched and drew her head back. “What’s wrong? I only wanted to push that hair a
way from your eyes. Sorry if it seemed I was being too forward.”

  “Y–you startled me.” Her chin trembled a bit.

  Brad looked at her, feeling concern. “I’m sorry, Sara. I reacted on instinct.”

  A tiny crease formed just above her nose. “Do you always fix women’s hair when it gets out of place?”

  “No, no, that’s not what I meant.” Brad felt like a bumbling idiot all of a sudden. “Uh, I think maybe we should go before I say or do anything else stupid.”

  She gave a quick nod and practically ran out the barn door.

  They hadn’t gotten off to a good start this evening. Brad could only hope the rest of their time together would go smoothly.

  East Earl, Pennsylvania

  “Oh my word. I’ve never seen so much food in all my life.” Michelle stared at all the stations loaded with a variety of food. There was something for everyone here at the Shady Maple Smorgasbord.

  Brad chuckled. “I’m guessing it’s the first time you’ve been here then.”

  She nodded. “If I tried a little of everything, you’d have to carry me out of here in a wheelbarrow.”

  His chuckle went deeper. “You’re not only beautiful, but you have a sense of humor too.”

  A warm flush crept across Michelle’s cheeks. Was Brad flirting with her? Had his touching her hair in the barn earlier meant something more than concern she might end up with it in her eyes? Don’t be ridiculous. You’re reading more into it than there actually is. I’m sure Brad has no interest in me.

  “Well, let’s dish up and get on back to our table.” Brad gestured to the stack of plates on the end of one of the buffet stations. “You go first, Sara.”

  “Okay.” Michelle chose all the things she liked best, and when she was satisfied with the amount on her plate, she filled her glass with iced tea and returned to their table. Brad wasn’t far behind her.

  When they sat down, he reached over and took her hand. “Do you mind if I pray before we eat?”

  “No, that’s fine.” Thinking he would offer a silent prayer, the way Mary Ruth and Willis did, she bowed her head and closed her eyes. However, Michelle was surprised when Brad prayed out loud.

  “Heavenly Father, we thank You for the food we’re about to eat. Please bless it to the needs of our bodies, and thank You for the many hands who prepared it. And thanks for the opportunity to spend more time with Sara so we can get to know each other better. Amen.”

  Michelle opened her eyes and looked around. It made her uncomfortable when Brad began praying out loud, and she hoped no one else had heard him. She relaxed a bit when she saw that nobody seemed to be looking at them.

  As they ate their meal, Michelle thought about her reaction when Brad pushed the hair out of her face in the barn. She had tried to act nonchalant, but inside she’d been shaking. She would never have admitted it to Brad, but his unexpected gesture brought back the memory of when Jerry slapped her face so hard that it left an imprint on her cheek.

  Michelle set her fork down and drank some iced tea. I should have known Brad would never do anything like that. He seems kind and gentle—an all-around nice guy. Maybe too nice for me.

  “I see your plate’s almost empty.” Brad broke into her thoughts. “Are you ready to check out all the pies, cakes, and other treats?”

  Michelle held her stomach. “Oh boy. I’m not sure I have room for any dessert.”

  He flapped his hand. “Sure you do. No one leaves Shady Maple’s without sampling at least one piece of pie or some cake and ice cream.” He wiggled his eyebrows and stood. “You gonna join me?”

  She groaned. “Okay. Why not?” Michelle followed Brad to the dessert stations. After perusing all the pies, she chose cherry.

  “What? No shoofly pie?” Brad pointed to his plate. He’d taken a slice of shoofly, plus a couple of other kinds of pie.

  “I don’t know where you’re going to put all that,” she said when they returned to the table.

  He patted his stomach. “I think there’s still enough room in there.”

  Michelle shrugged. “Whatever you say. You must know your limits.”

  As they ate their pie, she decided to bring up the verse of scripture she’d found in the old jar that morning. “Since you’re planning to become a preacher, I bet you know the Bible pretty well.”

  “Well, I’m certainly no expert, but I have studied the scriptures.”

  She folded her hands and placed them under her chin. “So could you tell me what a certain verse means?”

  “I’ll give it a shot. What verse is it?”

  “ ‘Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you. And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.’ ” Her forehead wrinkled. “I think I understand the first part, because that’s what my Amish grandparents are doing. What I don’t understand is how God can be anyone’s father.”

  “God created everything and everyone,” Brad explained. “So by creating us, He became our father. And when we accept Jesus Christ as God’s Son, we also become God’s son or daughter. Does that make sense?”

  “I guess so.” Michelle wasn’t about to admit that not much about the Bible seemed logical to her. If not for the verses she’d found in the glass jar, she wouldn’t even be acquainted with the scriptures. Although she’d been going to church with Willis and Mary Ruth every other Sunday, everything was spoken in a language she couldn’t understand, so it all seemed quite confusing. And anything she’d learned when attending Bible school a few times as a girl had gone in one ear and out the other.

  “Do you own a Bible, Sara?” Brad questioned.

  She shook her head “I read the verse on a slip of paper I found at the Lapps’—I mean, my grandparents’.”

  “Maybe what you need is a study Bible. It would help explain many of the verses found in the Bible.”

  “Why would I need a special Bible to study? All I was asking about was just one verse.”

  He touched the back of his neck. “I figured if you had a question about one verse, there might be others.”

  “Maybe.” Feeling the need for a change of subject, Michelle finished the rest of her pie and asked if he was ready to go.

  Brad looked down at his empty plate and nodded. “I couldn’t eat another bite.”

  “I can imagine.”

  He smiled and gave her a wink.

  As they left the restaurant and began walking toward his van, Michelle struggled with her emotions. As much as I enjoy Brad’s company, I feel guilty when I’m in his presence. Does he know I am hiding a secret?

  Chapter 25

  Strasburg

  Monday morning while Mary Ruth gathered eggs, Michelle went down to the basement to get some empty jars to use for canning tomatoes. After the snake incident, she’d been relieved when Mary Ruth said she would resume her previous job of getting the eggs every day. Just the thought of seeing that ugly black snake in the nest sent shivers up Michelle’s spine. She hoped she wouldn’t find anything frightening in the unfinished basement.

  The cement floor had numerous cracks zig-zagging across it, and the rusty drain near the antiquated wringer washing machine looked nasty. The air smelled of mildew mixed with the milder scent of laundry detergent drifting out of an open box on a shelf near the washer. The natural light coming from two small windows positioned high on the wall helped the basement seem not quite so dreary.

  To provide more light in the room, Michelle had taken a battery-operated lantern. The gas lamps hanging throughout most of the Lapps’ home were good sources of light, as well as heat, but Michelle always felt a bit nervous whenever she had to ignite one. The last thing she needed was to cause an explosion or set the room on fire, for lack of paying close enough attention.

  A spray of dust sifted into Michelle’s face when she pulled a cardboard box marked Canning Jars off one of the shelves. She managed to place it on a metal
table a few seconds before a sneeze overtook her. She needed a tissue, but there were none in her pocket. Oh great. Just what I don’t need right now. Michelle didn’t want to go clear back upstairs for something to blow her nose on, but she needed to take care of this matter now.

  She looked around, hoping there might be something down here she could use. An old towel or even a clean rag would do. Michelle felt relief when she spotted a roll of paper towels standing beside the box of laundry detergent. Quickly tearing one off before another sneeze came, she blew her nose and threw the soiled paper towel in the garbage next to the washing machine. Now back to business.

  Lifting the light so she had a better look at all the shelves lining the walls, Michelle spotted a box marked, Rhoda’s Toys. Curious to see what was inside, she took the box down, set it on the floor, and opened the flaps. Inside, she found a cloth doll with no face, several children’s books, a coloring book, two small boxes of crayons, and a variety of miniature kitchen utensils. Apparently Mary Ruth hadn’t been able to part with these things her daughter used to play with.

  Michelle’s heart clenched, thinking how devastating it must have been for the Lapps when their only daughter ran off and never contacted them again. Although Michelle hadn’t run off from her own parents, she often wondered if they ever thought about her or wished things had been different. Had Mom and Dad sought help for their problems—particularly Dad’s drinking, which had been a major cause for most of his abuse?

  As she stood to return the box to the shelf, Michelle noticed an old jar toward the back. Looking closer she saw it was full of folded papers. The glass container appeared to be similar to the one she’d found in the barn, only this one was light green instead of pale blue.

  Michelle climbed up on a stepstool she’d discovered and took the jar down. Then she used the top step of the stool as a seat and sat down. Michelle wasn’t about to go back to the kitchen until she’d seen what kind of messages this antique vessel contained.